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Walla Walla, WA
Thursday, June 1, 2023

Ben Griffin

May 18, 2023
Relationship Advice After Four Months of Dating

I’ve been in a relationship for about four months now. Sure, every relationship has its highs and lows, but in this relationship, our lows have just been little pauses before the next remarkable high, like a y = x3 graph. I want to share some of my natural relationship intuition and insight with those of you […]

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May 11, 2023
A Defense of the Bathtub

Over the millennia, bathers have cowered beneath the verbal abuse of showerers, but no more!  There are some injustices in this world that you can’t just look over or let slide by. On some issues, you have to put your foot down and take a stand for what’s right. Today, I’m putting my foot down […]

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May 4, 2023
Saying Hey to the Wrong People

College goes by in a blur, especially when you’re myopic.  Which students receive the least empathy on campus? A tricky question. Here’s the answer: students with easily correctable vision. Well no longer! It’s time to see what they go through, time to see what they can’t. Here’s a week in the life of a myopic […]

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April 27, 2023
Self-Guided ASMR and Meditations:

Welcome back to the second, even gentler, episode of Collegentlewhispers, sponsored by The Collegian. This episode will be self-guided, just like our fall (and only other) edition. Gently follow the instructions below, which will include several mantras you may speak aloud to better complement your ASMR experience.

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April 13, 2023
Ben-ana Bread

Hey everybody, today I would like to share with you a very special recipe! But first, some unsolicited personal anecdotes. This recipe was passed down to me from my aunt. She was blunt but still the kindest woman you could ever meet, and she basically raised me. My parents weren’t very present because my mom […]

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February 23, 2023
Oh Robert

I’ve worked as a senator for ASWWU since my freshman year, and since I’m a senior now; that means I’ve been a senator roughly since I was a freshman. I realize some of you reading this may be community members or uninformed students of Walla Walla University, so allow me to define a few things. 

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February 16, 2023
The Body and the Boogie:

You’re in choir and today is the performance. Your body is your instrument, so you take a moment to prepare your body. First, you massage your temples and your cheeks. Next, you relax your jaw and stretch your tongue.   The face is complete. 

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February 9, 2023
Collegian Compatibility Quiz

The Collegian is once again striding confidently into the insecurities of your personal life to prepare you for the highest consequence day of the year.  Every February 14, humans begin considering questions of love, like, what is love? Why do we sing about love so much? Is love the answer to everything? If so, why isn’t it the […]

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January 26, 2023
Minimal Effort

Long-distance relationships are hard. Hear me out: the simplest answer is self-sabotage  Long-distance relationships: they’re a tradition as old as the postal service, and just as good (which is to say horrible…). Today, long-distance should be easier than ever since we have texts now instead of telegrams or whatever the pilgrims were using back then, […]

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January 19, 2023
Contextualizing Art

An immersive Italian art experience guided by the imagination of yours truly.  Over Christmas, I had the chance to visit my sister, who is studying abroad in Florence, Italy. While I was there, we visited art museums, squares, art museums, churches, art museums, garden grounds, and finally, art museums. 

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December 5, 2022
You Can’t Read 100% of the Articles I Don’t Write

Encounter new proverbs and experiment with times and places to say them.   Ah, the English language. The language of Shakespeare, science, America, the unnecessary letters of Q and X, and weird proverbs that make no sense. Who’s to say what they mean, who said them first, or why other people decided they would say the […]

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December 1, 2022
Algorithms Upon Algorithms

Spotify can tell you more about your friends than your friends can.   Sometime soon, Spotify will release “2022 Wrapped,” this year’s report on your favorite genres, artists, and songs. [1] Especially for those of us who struggle to describe the type of music we like, Spotify’s data mining puts into words what we could only […]

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November 17, 2022
Look at That Thing I’m Pointing at Over There!

Perusing these practical tips will get you through Thanksgiving smoothly when things get political or personal.   The irony of Thanksgiving is that many of us are more grateful that it’s over than we are during the holiday itself, and it’s all because of adversarial friends and family members. You know the ones, they’re the relatives […]

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November 10, 2022
I Am Once Again Asking About Multitasking

Some say it’s impossible to multitask. I say, just multi-ask and I’ll show you how it’s done via a series of happy and helpful tips to help you further optimize the spreadsheet schedule that has become your life.   The plight of the 21st century citizen is having too much to do with too little time […]

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November 3, 2022
Music Minor Music Reviews 

Taylor Swift’s newest album came out October 21, 2022. An album like this has major implications for your social life and conversation in the next month, so let me tell you about it. [1]  Swift’s top five songs on Spotify right now are “Anti-Hero,” “Lavender Haze,” “Snow On The Beach (feat. Lana Del Rey),” “Maroon,” […]

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October 27, 2022
Self-guided ASMR: Fall Edition 

ASMR for the fall season. The sun is setting, leaves are turning, school is starting, and tingles are tingling.   Welcome back to the first episode of Collegentlewhispers, sponsored by The Collegian. This episode will be self-guided. Anything between asterisks is the action you perform, while all the other text can either be read silently or […]

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